Aug 052015

stop-being-offendedI blame social media! If it weren’t for Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and all the other ways idiots can post their narcissistic triumphs then more important issues would be on our minds (like selling fetus parts to the highest bidder). Why should I care if a dentist wants to go on some hunting safari in pursuit of animals that aren’t even endangered?? If that lion didn’t have a name, would we still care?? Poachers are scoundrels, yes, but I’m sure hundreds of other lions, tigers and bears (Oh My!) are hunted just the same. The only difference is those people aren’t stupid enough to post it on Instagram! Unless, of course, you are Sabrina Corgatelli who posts her “trophies” because she knows its going to piss people off – so I applaud her for being a troll!

I’m not completely heartless, I think its pretty despicable that he sought out that lion and then had the audacity to make sure we all knew that he beheaded said beast and he deserves every bit of the backlash he’s getting for doing so. Honestly if he hadn’t posted somewhere for the social media warriors to find the only ire he would have drawn would be from a bad root canal. It still amazes me that social media has been around so long it’s now a staple in our lives yet people are still so ignorant when they use it. Learn how to post privately, noobs!

So lets move on to the next thing I could care less about. Celebrity breakups! Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner splitting up was apparently the most traumatic thing the Internet had ever endured! One person tweeted (I did not alter the format of this tweet, the caps are real):

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner getting a divorce!? I DONT BELIEVE IN LOVE ANYMORE!!!!

Really?!? I mean, seriously??? How trite is this person’s life that their happiness is so vicariously dependent on two actors whom they will never meet?!? Why should we care that “Bennifer” can’t keep their sacred vows or that Miranda Lambert can’t keep her hands out of somebody else’s pants?? “Celebrity marriages never last” so why is it “newsworthy” when one fails? Just because they couldn’t make their relationship/marriage work doesn’t mean all of ours are doomed. I promise Ben and Jennifer could care less that their divorce has caused you to lose hope and leaves you crying into your pillow at night.

Live your life don’t live it through somebody else!

/end soapbox

minion_keboard_smI could get so much more accomplished if I only had minions!

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